Game Review: Carpentry Story

Hi y’all, whaddup? It’s Alice! Today we gonna review Carpentry Story, a sweet TREE-SLAUGHTERING game by fizzlymike!

Ready for murder.
A Carpenter Is Always In Demand

So, the basic premise is this: Once upon a time, there was a village with a master carpenter. Then the carpenter kicked the bucket, and as a result, ALL THE FURNITURE IN THE VILLAGE WAS DESTROYED and everybody left. But! You’re the grandchild of this super carpenter, you come back to the abandoned village, and YOU WILL REBUILD ALL THE FURNITURE!

It’s a crafting sim or a life sim or summat? Honestly it’s not a genre I’m familiar with. I played that Terra Nova, uh, Terra Firma, uh… TERRARIA game a while back but it’s different, totally. You don’t fight flying eyes in this game.

You don’t fight anything, actually! It’s a really sweet game and that’s the first thing that warmed my heart. Everything is really cosy and you can just go about your business everyday, slaughtering trees and giving birth to furniture without anyone bothering you!

Oh, just a heads up? If you hate furniture, this game is not for you. There is furniture by the cubic poop-ton, plus I’m probs gonna use the word furniture forty to fifty times more in this review.

We return to our childhood home, filled with remorse for all the dead furniture…
Making Grandad Proud

So from the first it looks like there’s a story to Carpentry Story, which wud make sense! However, once I got to playin’, I didn’t really see any of it.

It’s probs my biggest gripe: everything seems lifeless.

You start out and you determined to come to terms with yo grandfather’s legacy. Then days go by (I got to Day 33 or summat) and you never hear about grandpa again.

Also, while there are a bunch of interesting characters in the village, not a lot happens with them. They’re basically just, “Yo Alice, make me ten chairs, I’ll pay you.”

Also also, these characters run a bunch of establishments, but even after you toil your backside off to make these establishments supa fine, nobody turns up? I woulda liked to see a patron or two, and a comment like, “Oh Alice, you’re so beautiful and your furniture is okay too!”

My apartment! Pros: rent is low.

Yeah I know, I know, it’s a furniture makin’ game, it’s about crafting, it’s not about delving into the secret history of yo rambunctious carpenter grandpa, BUT… BUT…

Just make the village feel more alive please? Please please?

Crank A Lever, Out Comes A Barrel!

Okay so, how’s the actual meat of the game – makin’ the furniture? It’s basically like, you got a blueprint for a table, you go kill some trees, you turn the tree trunks into planks, and then you turn the planks into a table according to your blueprint.

Then you repeat that twenty times. If you don’t like repetitive tasks, get out now.

This was a verdant forest. But all that changed when the axe nation attacked.

For me, it’s like grinding in RPGs, yaknow? I’m happy to cut up trees all day long, size ’em down into toothpicks.

My only gripe is, sometimes the crafting is a bit laborious. Like, to make a chair, you need to arrange bits and bobs of wood on a 9×9 grid in a particular way. Then you crank a lever to complete the thing.

That grid arrangement feels kinda needless to me, yaknow? If I’m makin’ fudge, I’m not gonna arrange cubes of butter on a grid, I just slap it all into a pan and FRY IT TILL I HEAR THE SCREAMS! (Also that lever-cranking feels weird – I’m a carpenter, not a factory worker!)

But anyway, mostly it’s really enjoyable. You get up in the morning, you go to the woods, or maybe the mine, or maybe the town… you chop some wood… or you mine some ore… or sell some of your stuff… then night falls, you dead tired, you go to bed, you wake up next morning!

Yes, you also mine ores in this game! And get people to help you with stuff that carpenters don’t do, like smithing or weaving. (But not mining. I guess a more accurate title wud be Miningry Carpentry Story, but anyway!)

Grandpa wuz not just into furniture, he had a side hustle?

Not gonna lie, there’s something super satisfying about this game. You choppin’ all day in the woods, then sawin’ all afternoon at the workbench, then hammerin’ all evening to make twenty chairs, then you see the sun startin’ to set and you go to bed tired and happy!

Then comes the next day, and like a li’l money-grubber you go downtown and turn FURNITURE into MONEY. The circle of life!

Final Words

So wud I recommend this game? I think so, yea!

There’s a definite sense of accomplishment to be found. And it’s all so delightfully pressure-free! The only thing is, it’s a bit lifeless… but maybe that’s a thing they’ll address in the updates? Fingers crossed!

My apartment! Now all pimped up wid pink curtains!

Check out the game on here!/

Author: alicegristle

Hi y'all! I love carrots, knights, and magic castles!

2 thoughts on “Game Review: Carpentry Story”

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